Codename: Iceman Let's Play Part Fifteen: Out The Hatch

John Westland goes for a swim.



Alright mateys, it's time to get off this boat. John takes a look around using the Captain's large, shiny shaft (ahem) and spots the harbor and the oil right. He makes a note of the heading and sets off to get his diving gear. A brief tour of the sub later and he's out the hatch, swimming around in the briny deep.

Holy crap the ocean is big and dark and easy to get lost in! (FUCK THE OCEAN!)

John find the oil rig and plants the explosives, then swims off towards the harbor. He uses his awesome KGB whizbang to defuse an electronic field and swims up to find the net dangling in the water. He puts his hard-won bottle in it, then receives the all-clear signal. John hides his motorized diver and comes ashore in sunny Tunisia.

Now it's time to get all spy on this game!

Codename: Iceman Let's Play Part Two: John Westland Gets Lucky

Where our hero gets lucky about 19 minutes into the game.



Having just donned his shirt, John ducks into the hotel lobby and grabs his room key - and takes note of a dinghy (heh) service that might just come in handy later. Then it's off to the bar, where he spies a beautiful girl alone at a table.

She seems unnaturally easygoing - maybe because her dialogue seems to be a thirteen-year-old's idea of a spy novel - and insists that John dance with her. They writhe around the dancefloor for a while, and one bottle of cheap champagne later they're back at her place. A little talking, a lot of kissing, a few mushroom clouds later and the fireworks take off.

And then Johnny wakes up alone in bed. Oh, the life of a Naval Officer. It's a lonely one.

Codename: Iceman Let's Play Part One: CPR

Where our hero puts his mouth on a girl's mouth, and doesn't even buy her a drink first.



John Westland is just relaxing on the beach in Tahiti, reading an interesting news article about Tunisia, a neutral and oil-rich African nation. His towering intellect reasons that this may be an explosive situation. Hmm!

He gets up to stretch his legs and happens upon a fun game of beach volleyball! Hey, an opportunity to stand around and get some points for a few minutes. It's all fun and games until one of the bikini-clad players swims after the ball and gets herself drowned (what kind of resort is this, exactly?) John swims out to get her, drags her back to the beach and starts CPR according to his Amazing Naval Officer Training Manual.

This copy protection sequence over, he explores the rest of the beach and finds... his shirt. Yup.

Next update, he'll get to put his mouth on another woman. It's a wonder Tom Cruise didn't make a movie out of this game, too!