Codename: Iceman Let's Play Part Fifteen: Out The Hatch

John Westland goes for a swim.



Alright mateys, it's time to get off this boat. John takes a look around using the Captain's large, shiny shaft (ahem) and spots the harbor and the oil right. He makes a note of the heading and sets off to get his diving gear. A brief tour of the sub later and he's out the hatch, swimming around in the briny deep.

Holy crap the ocean is big and dark and easy to get lost in! (FUCK THE OCEAN!)

John find the oil rig and plants the explosives, then swims off towards the harbor. He uses his awesome KGB whizbang to defuse an electronic field and swims up to find the net dangling in the water. He puts his hard-won bottle in it, then receives the all-clear signal. John hides his motorized diver and comes ashore in sunny Tunisia.

Now it's time to get all spy on this game!

Codename: Iceman Let's Play Parts Eight and Nine: Decoding and Roll 5d6

Where we discover just how absolutely shitty this game is.





Oh. My. God.

This is literally - LITERALLY!!!! - the most un-fun sequence in any adventure game I have ever played. I think that everyone involved in the creation of this game, and the producer who approved this, should be legally barred from making any games ever again, ever.

So.

We start off in video numero uno with Major Westland cracking the codes he just received over the radio. Which cannot be done without the help of the game's manual making for yet another copy protection sequence. Not that anyone would ever want to pirate this game, but never mind.

Then John actually gets the freedom to go exploring a little and discovers that there is more to this railroaded adventure game than he originally thought - the sub has OTHER ROOMS! Amazing! There's a kitchen, and.. a tube. We'll stop in the kitchen where a bottle of rum (like in the code!) sits tantalizingly on a table. When he goes to pick it up in video deux, he is approached by a salty old seaman who demands John play dice for it.

Alrighty.

Just so you understand how much time this took: I started around 8 pm last night, quit around 11.30, and started again at 6.30 this morning and wrapped up around 8.30. So about five and a half hours to get to the end, which I have mercifully condensed into 10 minutes so you guys get the highlights. I explain the game and the tricks behind solving it in the subtitles, but suffice to say that I'm glad I never, ever, ever have to play that sequence ever again.

The sub battles better be easy, that's all I'm gonna say...