John Westland goes for a swim.
Alright mateys, it's time to get off this boat. John takes a look around using the Captain's large, shiny shaft (ahem) and spots the harbor and the oil right. He makes a note of the heading and sets off to get his diving gear. A brief tour of the sub later and he's out the hatch, swimming around in the briny deep.
Holy crap the ocean is big and dark and easy to get lost in! (FUCK THE OCEAN!)
John find the oil rig and plants the explosives, then swims off towards the harbor. He uses his awesome KGB whizbang to defuse an electronic field and swims up to find the net dangling in the water. He puts his hard-won bottle in it, then receives the all-clear signal. John hides his motorized diver and comes ashore in sunny Tunisia.
Now it's time to get all spy on this game!
Showing posts with label USS Blackhawk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label USS Blackhawk. Show all posts
Friday, April 10, 2009
Codename: Iceman Let's Play Part Fourteen: Sink The Alpha!
John Westland sinks a Russian sub.
We start off with John at the helm, who must have received a premonition of danger because he suddenly orders the sub to dive like a motherfucker. The sonar team then report an inversion layer right where John is heading, which is good because inversion layers block enemy sonar.
Oddly enough, very soon after that they report a Russian Alpha sub which starts firing torpedoes at the Blackhawk like they're going out of style. John shuts off the engine, fires four fish back at the Alpha, and waits. And waits. And waits.
The first two torpedoes miss...
But the second two hit. Bye bye Alpha!
But there's still two torpedoes incoming. John begins evasive maneuvers and drops two decoys, which thankfully the torpedoes follow. (You'll note in the subtitles that it took me about an hour to get this right.. crazytime.)
After that, we're suddenly off the coast of Portugal, where we follow the USS Koontz through the Straight of Gibraltar in yet another stupid driving minigame. Once we're safely through, the Captain - miraculously recovered now that our mission is almost over - tells John to have a look through the periscope.
Next update, we'll actually start playing a real adventure game, with like, adventure game puzzles and stuff!
We start off with John at the helm, who must have received a premonition of danger because he suddenly orders the sub to dive like a motherfucker. The sonar team then report an inversion layer right where John is heading, which is good because inversion layers block enemy sonar.
Oddly enough, very soon after that they report a Russian Alpha sub which starts firing torpedoes at the Blackhawk like they're going out of style. John shuts off the engine, fires four fish back at the Alpha, and waits. And waits. And waits.
The first two torpedoes miss...
But the second two hit. Bye bye Alpha!
But there's still two torpedoes incoming. John begins evasive maneuvers and drops two decoys, which thankfully the torpedoes follow. (You'll note in the subtitles that it took me about an hour to get this right.. crazytime.)
After that, we're suddenly off the coast of Portugal, where we follow the USS Koontz through the Straight of Gibraltar in yet another stupid driving minigame. Once we're safely through, the Captain - miraculously recovered now that our mission is almost over - tells John to have a look through the periscope.
Next update, we'll actually start playing a real adventure game, with like, adventure game puzzles and stuff!
Codename: Iceman Let's Play Parts Twelve and Thirteen: John Versus The Destroyer and Ice Ice Baby
John Westland sinks a Russian destroyer and gets a perfect 10 in the Ice Slalom.
Alrighty then! Two videos this update because the first one was so short. John calmly takes control of the Blackhawk and orders the sub to dive below 600 feet, but not before turning off the active sonar and engaging the caterpillar drive. Err, whatever silent running mechanism the sub has.
The object of the battle is to hit the destroyer four times and sink it. Each Harpoon missile has exactly a 30% chance of hitting. So, the object of the battle is to save each time you get a successful hit, and load when you don't.
I wish I was kidding.
I tried to cobble the video together well but there are still a few rough edits, so sorry about that. It would have been fucking boring to watch me save/load for 20 minutes.
Then, we have to survive the incoming torpedoes - which is actually OK because we dove, turned our engines off and fired our Harpoons early - the game seems to recognize precautionary measures like this and responds accordingly.
After the fight radio reports that we've got new coded messages. Looks like we're on our own from here on out. Time to proceed to the next checkpoint. This involves a slalom through a field of icebergs, or keeping the sub roughly pointed in the correct direction and not whacking into the upside-down mountains of frozen water. It's actually easier than it looks, something that should be obvious by the perfect score and zero editing marks.
Then it's another coded message - we need to cause a diversion once we're in the harbor. OK. Easy enough. Now where was that bazooka?
Alrighty then! Two videos this update because the first one was so short. John calmly takes control of the Blackhawk and orders the sub to dive below 600 feet, but not before turning off the active sonar and engaging the caterpillar drive. Err, whatever silent running mechanism the sub has.
The object of the battle is to hit the destroyer four times and sink it. Each Harpoon missile has exactly a 30% chance of hitting. So, the object of the battle is to save each time you get a successful hit, and load when you don't.
I wish I was kidding.
I tried to cobble the video together well but there are still a few rough edits, so sorry about that. It would have been fucking boring to watch me save/load for 20 minutes.
Then, we have to survive the incoming torpedoes - which is actually OK because we dove, turned our engines off and fired our Harpoons early - the game seems to recognize precautionary measures like this and responds accordingly.
After the fight radio reports that we've got new coded messages. Looks like we're on our own from here on out. Time to proceed to the next checkpoint. This involves a slalom through a field of icebergs, or keeping the sub roughly pointed in the correct direction and not whacking into the upside-down mountains of frozen water. It's actually easier than it looks, something that should be obvious by the perfect score and zero editing marks.
Then it's another coded message - we need to cause a diversion once we're in the harbor. OK. Easy enough. Now where was that bazooka?
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Codename: Iceman Let's Play Part Eleven: Trouble on the Horizon
Johnny Westland takes command after the captain has a little 'accident.'
The first item of business is to head back to the torpedo room and fix that stupid conveyor belt, which thankfully doesn't take too long. Johnny remembers to actually load the damn torpedo, avoiding yet another instadeath later, and heads back to the bridge.
The captain talks Johnny through another extremely boring driving sequence and then surfaces - where they have to go onto the bridge to see that there are two Russian warshps gunning for the Blackhawk! (Seriously, isn't that what periscopes are for? So subs can move around without exposing themselves like this?)
The Captain and Johnny discuss options and head below - but the Captain takes a horrible fall and suffers a head wound, leaving Johnny in command!
With warships after the Blackhawk!
And a newly-repaired torpedo launcher!
Ladies and gentlemen, it's about time to get some fight on!
Next update....
The first item of business is to head back to the torpedo room and fix that stupid conveyor belt, which thankfully doesn't take too long. Johnny remembers to actually load the damn torpedo, avoiding yet another instadeath later, and heads back to the bridge.
The captain talks Johnny through another extremely boring driving sequence and then surfaces - where they have to go onto the bridge to see that there are two Russian warshps gunning for the Blackhawk! (Seriously, isn't that what periscopes are for? So subs can move around without exposing themselves like this?)
The Captain and Johnny discuss options and head below - but the Captain takes a horrible fall and suffers a head wound, leaving Johnny in command!
With warships after the Blackhawk!
And a newly-repaired torpedo launcher!
Ladies and gentlemen, it's about time to get some fight on!
Next update....
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Codename: Iceman Let's Play Parts Eight and Nine: Decoding and Roll 5d6
Where we discover just how absolutely shitty this game is.
Oh. My. God.
This is literally - LITERALLY!!!! - the most un-fun sequence in any adventure game I have ever played. I think that everyone involved in the creation of this game, and the producer who approved this, should be legally barred from making any games ever again, ever.
So.
We start off in video numero uno with Major Westland cracking the codes he just received over the radio. Which cannot be done without the help of the game's manual making for yet another copy protection sequence. Not that anyone would ever want to pirate this game, but never mind.
Then John actually gets the freedom to go exploring a little and discovers that there is more to this railroaded adventure game than he originally thought - the sub has OTHER ROOMS! Amazing! There's a kitchen, and.. a tube. We'll stop in the kitchen where a bottle of rum (like in the code!) sits tantalizingly on a table. When he goes to pick it up in video deux, he is approached by a salty old seaman who demands John play dice for it.
Alrighty.
Just so you understand how much time this took: I started around 8 pm last night, quit around 11.30, and started again at 6.30 this morning and wrapped up around 8.30. So about five and a half hours to get to the end, which I have mercifully condensed into 10 minutes so you guys get the highlights. I explain the game and the tricks behind solving it in the subtitles, but suffice to say that I'm glad I never, ever, ever have to play that sequence ever again.
The sub battles better be easy, that's all I'm gonna say...
Oh. My. God.
This is literally - LITERALLY!!!! - the most un-fun sequence in any adventure game I have ever played. I think that everyone involved in the creation of this game, and the producer who approved this, should be legally barred from making any games ever again, ever.
So.
We start off in video numero uno with Major Westland cracking the codes he just received over the radio. Which cannot be done without the help of the game's manual making for yet another copy protection sequence. Not that anyone would ever want to pirate this game, but never mind.
Then John actually gets the freedom to go exploring a little and discovers that there is more to this railroaded adventure game than he originally thought - the sub has OTHER ROOMS! Amazing! There's a kitchen, and.. a tube. We'll stop in the kitchen where a bottle of rum (like in the code!) sits tantalizingly on a table. When he goes to pick it up in video deux, he is approached by a salty old seaman who demands John play dice for it.
Alrighty.
Just so you understand how much time this took: I started around 8 pm last night, quit around 11.30, and started again at 6.30 this morning and wrapped up around 8.30. So about five and a half hours to get to the end, which I have mercifully condensed into 10 minutes so you guys get the highlights. I explain the game and the tricks behind solving it in the subtitles, but suffice to say that I'm glad I never, ever, ever have to play that sequence ever again.
The sub battles better be easy, that's all I'm gonna say...
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Codename: Iceman Let's Play Part Seven: Navigation and Sonar
Where our hero talks to his captain, navigates the sub and manages not to fuck up his next driving test.
Captain Jonathan Hawkins completes his cameo role by opening the safe containing the locked briefcase with Westland's further orders, which lay out the course the sub will take to Tunisia. Think 'Hunt for Red October' meets 'the most boring after-school special ever.' Westland, thinking quickly, asks the captain what the combination to his top secret Navy safe is, because hey, you never know when the captain might take ill and be unable to give you such valuable information in the future.
John then uses the amazing 2004 map interface to navigate a course around the top of Canadia and between Iceland and Greenland to Tunisia. If you're playing the homegame: I used a combination of the two strategy guides I could find online to get the 'best' course with the most possible points (10) - the guide on GameFAQs was wrong in that it deviates by 200 miles and only nets you 7 points.
Then it's another nail-biting driving sequence and Westland gets the encoded radio message.. what does it mean? Tune in next time to find out!!
Captain Jonathan Hawkins completes his cameo role by opening the safe containing the locked briefcase with Westland's further orders, which lay out the course the sub will take to Tunisia. Think 'Hunt for Red October' meets 'the most boring after-school special ever.' Westland, thinking quickly, asks the captain what the combination to his top secret Navy safe is, because hey, you never know when the captain might take ill and be unable to give you such valuable information in the future.
John then uses the amazing 2004 map interface to navigate a course around the top of Canadia and between Iceland and Greenland to Tunisia. If you're playing the homegame: I used a combination of the two strategy guides I could find online to get the 'best' course with the most possible points (10) - the guide on GameFAQs was wrong in that it deviates by 200 miles and only nets you 7 points.
Then it's another nail-biting driving sequence and Westland gets the encoded radio message.. what does it mean? Tune in next time to find out!!
Codename: Iceman Let's Play Part Six: USS Blackhawk
Where our hero drives a sub around and manages to not fuck it up.
Avast mateys! Welcome aboard the USS Blackhawk, the Navy's newest multi-billion-dollar piece of hardware. Swab the poop deck now ya landlubbers!
John starts off in his (vast) cabin and gets the lay of the land - by searching through his furniture for anything that isn't tied down, and adding it all to his inventory. What's that you say? More stupid 'gotcha' puzzles? Could things get any more retarded?
Well, you be the judge of that. After meeting the Captain, John sits at the sub's helm, a massive piece of equipment that looks like Steel Battalion controller. The commands are easy enough to figure out (if you have the game manual which tells you what all these fiddly pieces actually do.) John navigates the sub out of Pearl Harbor handily enough and then joins the Captain in his quarters so the both of them can open The Briefcase - and get the rest of John's mission.
Avast mateys! Welcome aboard the USS Blackhawk, the Navy's newest multi-billion-dollar piece of hardware. Swab the poop deck now ya landlubbers!
John starts off in his (vast) cabin and gets the lay of the land - by searching through his furniture for anything that isn't tied down, and adding it all to his inventory. What's that you say? More stupid 'gotcha' puzzles? Could things get any more retarded?
Well, you be the judge of that. After meeting the Captain, John sits at the sub's helm, a massive piece of equipment that looks like Steel Battalion controller. The commands are easy enough to figure out (if you have the game manual which tells you what all these fiddly pieces actually do.) John navigates the sub out of Pearl Harbor handily enough and then joins the Captain in his quarters so the both of them can open The Briefcase - and get the rest of John's mission.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Codename: Iceman Let's Play Part Five: John's Mission
Where our hero receives his orders for operation ICEMAN.
Alright, now things are starting to get interesting. Westland receives his briefing from General Braxton, who details the operation, codenamed ICEMAN. John is to take the USS Blackhawk, a super-secret and super-silent sub to Tunisia and rendezvous with a female agent disguised as a Muslim there. The 7th Fleet in the Mediterranean is simply a diversion to distract the Soviets, hopefully ensuring Westland will have a smooth journey. Once there, we're gonna bust the ambassador out and show these terrorist scum a thing or two.
John flies to Pearl Harbor and boards the USS Blackhawk according to proper military procedure, netting him a few bonus points. He is then shown to his quarters where the video cuts off - before our next update, where John gets to drive the sub around.
Until then...
Alright, now things are starting to get interesting. Westland receives his briefing from General Braxton, who details the operation, codenamed ICEMAN. John is to take the USS Blackhawk, a super-secret and super-silent sub to Tunisia and rendezvous with a female agent disguised as a Muslim there. The 7th Fleet in the Mediterranean is simply a diversion to distract the Soviets, hopefully ensuring Westland will have a smooth journey. Once there, we're gonna bust the ambassador out and show these terrorist scum a thing or two.
John flies to Pearl Harbor and boards the USS Blackhawk according to proper military procedure, netting him a few bonus points. He is then shown to his quarters where the video cuts off - before our next update, where John gets to drive the sub around.
Until then...
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